how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
