Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
