Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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