I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
