White coat. Heels.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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