What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
