Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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