Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
