drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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