At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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