'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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