She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
