Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize