Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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