It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
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