DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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