Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Four minutes until I can fart!
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
