Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
