I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
