What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
