Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
