I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
