lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Randomize
