if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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