For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
this is an emotional support booty call
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
