I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
