we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
