She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
In America we eat man semen.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
