I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize