So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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