genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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