Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
