You work out of a Hotel?
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
