Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
i now understand why vodka
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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