and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Just fell off a train. Bad.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
