We're like a lot better than the average bears
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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