But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
This baby is an asshole
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
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