Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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