im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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