Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Please, let me fuck your mom
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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