well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
