So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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