At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize