We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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