I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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