i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
