Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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