I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
