Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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