so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
