So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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