do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
