I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize