my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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