butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
