We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize