so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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