dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
