yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
