Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
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