we're chasing vodka with high fives
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
