my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
