I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize