ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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