Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
