he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
