We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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