Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
