I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
